


sleep jeans for denim nights

by transdavenport



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, barry IS the bluejeans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 23:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14223756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transdavenport/pseuds/transdavenport
Summary: So Barry isjeans. Barry is jeans and there’s another, secret person in there with him.Lup’s mind is reeling. And when she is able to pull herself together, she can only conjure up one question.“Did the last name come before or after?”He laughs. Lup isn’t sure which one of them, but he laughs.





	sleep jeans for denim nights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anonymousAlchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousAlchemist/gifts).
  * Inspired by [denim days](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12892368) by [anonymousAlchemist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymousAlchemist/pseuds/anonymousAlchemist). 



> This is a (very late) TFW Secret Santa gift for Iz (anonymousalchemist on ao3 and tumblr) based on her incredible fic "denim days".
> 
> It's a fic and a concept that stuck with me so strongly that I was overjoyed to get to play in this world. It's amazing and if you haven't read it, you should. 
> 
> Honestly, this fic won't make much sense otherwise. But tl;dr Barry is a sentient pair of jeans who (consensually) possesses Sildar Hallwinter.

So Barry is  _ jeans _ . Barry is jeans and there’s another, secret person in there with him.

Lup’s mind is reeling. And when she is able to pull herself together, she can only conjure up one question.

“Did the last name come before or after?”

He laughs. Lup isn’t sure which one of them, but he laughs.

#

Davenport knocks on their door that first night, the night they all met Sildar.

Barry slips into the forefront because that what he’s always done with the crew and opens the door.

Davenport looks tired, but he stands tall and looks Barry in the eye.

“I interviewed every other member of my crew individually,” he says. For a second, he falters, and rubs his hand along the back of his neck. “I—I don’t really know how this works, but is it possible to talk to you each alone?”

Barry nods. “I think we can work something out.”

Interviewing Barry is the hard part. Sildar eventually lays him out on a table, and Davenport takes hold of the denim. He, at once, hears a voice in his head. It’s Barry’s cadence and language, but the voice sounds slightly different than it does when produced by Sildar’s vocal cords.

Once Davenport confirms that,  _ yes _ , he can hear Barry, Sildar goes back to their room. 

Barry’s nervous. It’s unsettling to not have Sildar behind him. He hopes that, without a body, it’s harder to notice. His captain notices anyway.

But he starts to explain. And, save for some old details, he tells Davenport everything. Tells him about the overwhelming relief when Sildar had agreed to take him along. Tells him about the first time Barry let him control his body. About how open Sildar had been to all of this. About how much their lives had changed since they met. Exactly where the division was between truth and lie.

Davenport isn’t angry. He’s honestly not sure he would have even believed an application from a pair of jeans. The secrecy was understandable and having this new person is no strain on the ship or its supplies.

From the way Barry talked of him, Sildar would be an ally and an asset far more than he would be a hindrance.

And when Sildar walks into the kitchen wearing pajama pants and sits down at the table, Davenport starts to see it too.

A calm feeling radiates off Sildar in a way it doesn't off Barry. Conversation had never been Davenport’s strongest point, but Sildar really is easy to talk to. So Davenport skips the technicalities, keeps things serious but forgoes the structured questions in place of an honest conversation.

Sildar introduces himself, explains his life, where he’s from, what he’s good at. And then he talks about why. Why he took Barry home in the first place. Why he let Barry possess his body. Why he’s even on this mission at all.

“You, wait, you let him possess your body because he offered to do your math homework?”

Sildar shrugs and smiles.

Davenport can't help but remember the other interviews and how much things have changed since this mission began. He can almost see the impossible path before them. 

Sildar is going to make a great addition to this team.

When the conversation ends, Davenport shakes his hand and welcomes him to the crew. The captain looks tired and like he's doing everything he can to hold himself and this crew together, but Sildar  _ feels _ welcome.

#

The years go on and Lup starts to figure it out. She gets to know them, watches the way they move together, and learns how different they are.

They smile differently. Barry’s smile is small, soft. It pulls at the corners of his mouth and crinkles up his eyes. Sildar’s smile is brighter. It’s wide, asymmetrical, and shows a whole bunch of his teeth. 

Lup isn’t sure they know. 

But they blush the same, a bright red flush that spreads across the highest part of their cheekbones.

And she has never seen anything like them.

#

“Hey Merle?” Sildar shouts, walking down below the deck of the ship. “You here?”

“Yeah, what do you-” Merle replies, stepping out of his room and getting a good look at him. He’s bright red all over and a good portion of his face is swollen up. “What in the hell happened to  _ you _ ?”

“Well, as it turns out, I  _ can’t _ outrun angry bees,” he says, looking a little exasperated.

“You thought you could?”

“No, but Barry did,” Sildar says, leaning his weight against the wall.

“Alright, alright, let’s get you patched up,” Merle says, waddling toward the med room and waving a hand behind him.

Sildar follows and slumps down onto the low bench inside. Merle grabs a pair of [fantasy?] tweezers from a drawer. 

He gets to work pulling stingers from the areas that the healing would be more likely to accidentally fuck up, mostly around his face and fingers.

Merle chatters about something, mostly to distract Sildar from the upcoming sting.

“I always knew there were two of you in there,” Merle says as he pops another stinger out.

Sildar winces, “Ow— wait,  _ you did? _ ”

“I may not heal  _ that _ often—”

“Merle you’re healing me right now—”

“Shut it,” Merle cuts him off lightly, despite the frown on his face. “Like I was saying, I may not heal that often, but I’ve never been able to heal a pair of jeans before.”

Merle pulls one more stinger from a spot near Sildar’s ear before putting down the tweezers. Sildar just looks at him for a minute.  _ Merle _ knew? 

“There, that should be enough,” he says, grabbing his book off the table. He flips through the pages and murmurs something under his breath, and Sildar can feel the swelling go down across his face and body. He takes a deep breath, relishing in the freedom of his airways.

Merle steps back, now just barely smiling. He looks so smug, and Sildar smiles back in spite of himself.

Sildar realizes he may have underestimated Merle. He makes sure not to do it again.

#

Being in love with the most beautiful woman in existence is surprisingly stressful. After long nights when Sildar’s let himself drift out into the background and  _ rest _ , Barry finds a surprisingly kindred spirit. 

Davenport has that same look on his face. The self-sacrificing look of someone who has already made up their mind. It’s the look of someone who wants something so badly but thinks they dont deserve it. It takes Barry so long to see why.

But when he sees the way that Davenport looks at Merle, he knows he’s found someone who understands.

So they talk, late at night, when the others are asleep and they can’t be, either due to stress or being a sentient piece of fabric. Davenport will grab Barry off Sildar’s dresser, and they’ll sit down in the kitchen together.

They talk more on those nights than either of them ever talk during the day. Barry gets a chance to vent to someone alone, to be totally honest about something he’s been trying to keep hidden. Davenport discovers that it’s hard to keep your walls up when someone’s literally in your head, and starts to let Barry in. 

The have so much in common. They both find conversation so difficult trip over words and stumble through phrases. They both carry that weight of responsibility for the fate of others, Barry for Sildar and Davenport for the whole crew. And they have both found a love that surprised them. That swept them up and makes them feel warm inside. A love that pulls at heartstrings that were buried before. 

Their talks help more than they ever thought it would.

#

Lup has never been “in love” before. She doesn’t know what to expect, but she’s confident she’ll know it when it comes. And then, all at once, she feels something— something complicated, distinct, two-fold. She looks it straight it in the face and trusts herself. 

Because she finds a match in both of them. 

Barry understands her. He can pick up on her ideas before she finishes explaining them. They push each other to be better. Work becomes more rewarding when he’s beside her. And she gets to watch him discover. His eyes light up and his posture changes and he stutters over his words more in his excitement.

Sildar  _ understands _ her. The loss and the duty and the responsibility weigh on him as heavily as they weigh on her. He reminds her of the good things in the universe, of the good she can do for other people. 

And watching them is like watching a fire, Lup decides. Because fire isn't a single thing, it's a reaction that can only happen at a specific point: where fuel meets air. Fuel and air can exist on their own of course, but the the reaction,  _ the reaction _ is the most beautiful part.

Lup has always loved fire.

#

On the other hand, Sildar gets drunk with Merle.

He puts on pajama pants, and they crack into the “secret” bottle of mead that Merle keeps under his bed.

Talking to Merle is easy. They talk about how much they miss watching wrestling and how far  _ this _ is from the lives they expected to be living.

It starts out with filler and they both know it. But the alcohol buries the fear and the topic always shifts.

Sildar’s so in love he doesn’t know how to talk about it. But  _ gods _ does he try. He rambles and laughs and talks about all the beautiful parts about her. He could talk about her forever, and Merle lets him.

Merle understands, somehow. He gets the feeling of loving someone of much that it scared you. Past tense. Because it's become such an intrinsic part of you that it can’t be scary anymore.

(Merle doesn’t offer an explanation, and Sildar doesn’t ask for one.)

Sildar ends up passing out on Merle’s floor. The next morning, Barry gives up his day with the body because possessing it would mean inheriting the hangover.

#

They have to talk about it sometime.

And when Lup takes a  _ Shatter _ to the chest one cycle, their tentative silence shatters with her.

“You love her too,  _ don’t you?! _ ” Sildar shouts into their shared head.

“It doesn’t matter. You—” Barry says aloud and he runs out of words.  

“What? I  _ what _ ? Go ahead finish your thought,” Sildar pushes. Silence; Barry flounders.

“What do you—” and an idea passes through their head together. And Barry’s chest loosens in disbelief. “Wait,  _ really? _ You want to— You think she’d be—  _ both of us? _ ”

He can imagine how Sildar would roll his eyes.

#

It's been decades since Lup had trouble telling Sildar and Barry apart. But when she kisses them, that night after their performance, she has no goddamn clue. The posture feels like Barry, his back more upright and tense, but the hand on her waist is unmistakably Sildar, fingers spread wide and thumb rubbing small circles into her skin. 

When she opens her eyes, she sees them both. Sees the furrow of Barry’s brow but the warmth of Sildar’s eyes.

They are both looking at her. She didn’t know that she could feel loved like this.

#

The sex, well— the sex is weird. It has to be, when it's between three people, two bodies, and a pair of jeans. Sildar is generally inexperienced, and between their voyage and Barry’s century as jeans, they’re all very out of practice. 

Barry hovers, acting like a bridge between their minds. He can feel both of their bodies, and Lup and Sildar can tell what feels best to the other by Barry’s reactions. 

It takes some getting used to, as anything does, but it is so,  _ so _ worth it.

#

Barry and Sildar each give Lup a day.

Sildar takes her out on a hike, and they talk for hours. He leaves the jeans on the ship and it’s just the two of them out there. They stay out until nightfall and lay out on the grass looking up at the stars. Benefit to a planet with no animals: no mosquitos.

Barry stays in with her. They make breakfast: blueberry pancakes with too much syrup. They curl up on the couch and read together. At the end of the day, Lup puts on the jeans and they have a night to themselves.

And at the end of those two days, Barry reveals a conjured piano and violin. The music comes as easily as the first day they played it.

Barry and Sildar relish in those two days and hope for the best.

#

Lup doesn’t know what the results of the ritual will look like, especially for Barry and Sildar. 

Her lich form floats out of her body and, after she dabs, she looks over at Sildar’s body.

Above it hovers a single figure. He’s trembling. Lup can’t tell who it is, he is just a red robe. None of her boys’ easy tells are showing.

“It’s — you —  _ I  _ was right,” he says, looking down between his incorporeal hands and the very dead body.

“Babe, what’s happening?” Lup replies. She doesn’t know how to move this form, but she tries to get to them.

“I was— I don’t know, Barry said that if we did this, we could end up mixed together,” he says, grasping at words. “I’m—  _ I’m not _ them. I’m something new, I think.”

Lup doesn’t know what to say.

#

It doesn’t take long to understand what’s happened.

There is only one of them now. He answers more easily to Barry than to Sildar, so that’s what everyone calls him.

He has Barry’s magic and knowledge, and Sildar’s warmth and fighting spirit, if not his fighting skill. And he loves Lup with his whole heart.

Lup is almost furious. She can’t believe that Barry knew that this could happen and didn’t tell her.

But it worked. It  _ worked _ and that’s going to have to be enough.

Because Lup still knows them. She recognizes the tone of their voice and when they get their body back, she knows their posture and the look in their eyes. This new man is still her love. 

Lup’s anger fades eventually, but in dark moments when he’s asleep beside her, she lets herself miss them.

#

When they reform the next cycle, they refuse to wear jeans. The crew is unsurprisingly and melodramatically distraught. 

#

The relics sound like a good idea. It’s  _ something _ after years of nothing. 

They learn artificing and when it comes time to make something, all they can think to make is a bell. A single thing made of two parts: the bell itself and the clapper within, unseen but just as vital to the sound.

#

Lup leaves and doesn’t come back. Something in their gut tells them this is only the beginning.

Sildar always did have good instincts.

#

The next decade is a confusing and frustrating blur. As a lich, he’s okay. He can remember the time when he was two and how he became one. 

But when he inhabits a human body, things stop making sense. His mind can’t begin to process a time when it wasn’t whole, and it leaves him full of gaps and breaks and static. Both of their lives were fragmented and torn apart, but Sildar’s at least still makes sense. Sildar’s last memory isn’t  _ dying _ . 

His mind, in an attempt to get any stability, any reality, clings to that story. A regular normal human fighter, a decent student but a competent ally. 

But he’s  _ not _ Sildar. Not quite. His temper flares more easily; he’s more impulsive. There’s a bluntness that there never was before. 

He’s left handed.

#

He has never, not once, regretted becoming a lich. But here, stuck in this cycle of forgetting and dying, he almost wishes he was separate again. If they were jeans and a person, Barry could remember and guide Sildar through it. He wouldn’t be stuck in this. 

Barry wonders what would’ve happened if he hadn’t done it. If Sildar would have been kind enough to reach past Lucretia’s walls. If Barry would have been smart enough to find Lup before things went so sour. The guilt is almost overwhelming.

But being a lich allowed him to get out, to get to a place where he can even try to fix this. So he pulls himself together and keeps going. 

#

He guides Taako, Merle, and Magnus the best he can. 

But they don’t trust him. 

Barry feels emotion spread over him like a fire, beginning to consume everything it touches. He can’t, he can’t,  _ he can’t. _ He tries to focus, tries to ground himself in memory but it just burns brighter.

Something stretches and shatters and Barry isn’t in control anymore.

“Next time, I’m gonna need you to trust me,” Sildar says, speaking with the voice they share.

Barry lets him fall back into their head, and for the first time in decades, Sildar takes control.

And then Sildar watches as his crewmates walk away. It aches, deep in his heart, but he has to let them go for now.  _ For now _ . He has to believe that they’ll come back, or even Sildar won’t be able to hold them together.

He stretches out and fills in the space in their lich form and brings them back to the cave. He takes a break and settles, determined to rest while they can.

#

Barry surfaces a few days later, feeling calmer than he has in years. They should have been doing this the whole time. He’s not sure they even were able to. 

The cave’s a little neater than when he saw it last. The papers on the desk are in stacks that look much less likely to fall over. Some of the melted wax has been cleared from the candles.

They’re aware of each other again now. Its less seamless than it used to be.

Barry wishes they had more time to figure out exactly what’s going on. But there is so little time left. Their issues can wait.

#

He drinks from the tank of the younger voidfish and to his brain’s credit, it does try to put all the pieces back together correctly. But this, the strange half-split state they find themselves in now, wasn’t meant to be housed in a living human body. So it pushes and pinches and shoves them, however it can, into something like a single person again.

Sildar and Barry step back into  _ SildarBarry _ and they keep pushing on. They’re so close now. It’s just a matter of time. It  _ has _ to work.

#

Taako breaks open the umbrella and Barry feels his heart race. Lup, the love of their lives, shines like the sun and he is so aware of the decade he spent in the dark without her. It feels like falling in love all over again. There’s a warmth in their chest and butterflies in their stomach and in that moment he would do anything to hold her. 

But almost deeper, twined in with the deep lovesickness of affection, is  _ relief _ . 

#

Kravitz appears before them one day, looking even more serious than usual. His fingers are gripped tightly around his scythe. He tells them that the Raven Queen has important information for them about joining her retinue.

“Lead the way, Bojangles,” Lup says, standing up. 

Kravitz carves a portal to the astral plane, and all three step through.

The Raven Queen is divine, there are no other words for it.

“Welcome,” she says simply, her calm voice echoing in the nothingness of her throne room. 

Barry feels something rush through him, the air is pushed out of his lungs and he almost collapses, would have collapsed if Lup hadn’t grabbed his arm. 

The feeling is hauntingly familiar: the burn of divine energy. But it’s not like the burning of the Bureau’s holy symbol, its less destructive. It feels like the tests they ran, trying to find their limits as liches.

“Hey, uh—” Lup says frantically.

“Exactly as I suspected,” The Raven Queen says. “Barry Bluejeans, this will be more complicated than we expected.”

Something in Barry’s gut twists. Lup clutches their hand.

“Complicated? Complicated how?” Lup asks, planting her feet and straightening her back.

“Lup, you are one soul held in one body,” the goddess continues. “Barry is not.” 

Barry’s eyes go wide, and he stumbles through things, “I—we—uh, I’m not? I thought we—” 

“I have never seen a case quite like yours. You are two souls tied to the same magic” The Raven Queen says. “And when that bond is broken-”

“They’ll split apart,” Lup finishes.

“They can be, yes.” The goddess says, voice divinely impartial.

For a moment, silence sits heavy and still in the air. Lup looks to Barry.

“I don’t—I don’t want to be jeans again,” he blurts out. Lup laughs once before she can stop herself, but she feels affection wash over her.

“You would be able to take any form you wish, as Kravitz does now,” The Raven Queen says to him. “Though if you do not wish to be separated, I could maintain the connection between your souls. It is of no consequence to me.”

Barry is shaking. “How long do we have to decide?”

“Until you enter my service,” she replies.

They nod.

They go through the formalities of a good-bye and Kravitz brings them home. Barry’s thoughts are racing and his heart is pounding and they can’t tell if it’s excitement or fear. 

Lup knows them too well. She sits on the couch and he lays down with his head in her lap. He reaches his right hand up so she can hold it in hers, while her left hand settles in his hair.

Barry takes a deep, shuddering breath and relaxes into Lup.

#

Things are different now than they used to be. Ten long years have changed what he is. 

If they try hard enough, they can talk to each other again. 

Barry, the old Barry, the single Barry, almost laughs. “W—we could split up.”

“Do you want to?” Sildar asks. “I mean, I don’t— uh, frankly, I don’t know what I would be without you.”

“But you’d be something,” Barry replies. “You’d exist again.”

“I exist as much as you do,” Sildar says immediately. “There’s just more of you in us.”

“Sildar, think about it. We don’t need to be a lich anymore,” Barry says seriously, “the Hunger is gone and our family is safe. We can go back to being us again.”

Here, in the head they share, Sildar doesn’t know how to do anything but be honest. “I mean, I’ll miss you. I don’t know if I even want to be alone.”

The conversation continues for weeks, in short bursts stolen in quiet moments and in long hours spent debating.

Sildar can barely remember a time without Barry. Barry thinks that’s all the more reason they should split.

And together,  _ Barry _ isn’t sure.

#

They ask Lup. The first time, they did this without her, but so much has changed since then. Trust lost, hesitancy gained.

They’re making dinner together. Taako is off setting up his school, and it's just the two of them.

“Hey Lup, can I ask you something?” he says, continuing to chop the bell pepper she had given him. 

“Yeah, sure, babe,” she says casually, not looking up from the saucepan in front of her.

“What do  _ you _ think about all of this?”

She pauses, takes a minute to put her thoughts together. He keeps chopping. “I love you. I loved the two of you, and I love the one of you and, babe,” she turns to look at them, “do what feels right.”

He looks up from the pepper and smiles. Then his face changes to something harder to pin down.

“Do you miss them?” he asks and it’s honest. 

“Of course I do,” she replies, gesturing with the wooden spoon in her hand. “Just by the numbers, I had a full 50% decrease in boyfriends.”

He laughs.

“But really,” she continues, putting the spoon down.  “I miss them dearly. But, you know, you  _ are _ them.” She looks at him, and her eyes are warm. “And I love you just as much as I loved them.”

#

When they arrive, Barry is offered a choice. And without hesitation, and with Lup’s hand twined with theirs, they give an answer.

The actual ceremony is easier than expected. A tribute to the Raven Queen, some ominous chanting, a little blood sacrifice. Most of the work is on the Raven Queen’s end of things.

The Raven Queen slowly and methodically detaches their souls from their magic. She starts with Lup, taking a firm hold of her soul and pulling it close. It is routine and familiar. The vastness of her existence grows ever so slightly. 

Then the Raven Queen reaches into the body before her and carefully cuts the bonds that tie two souls to the same arcane source. She feels existence flow back into them both and as she ties them to herself, she is sure to tether them at the same point. The real body that housed them both twitches and shakes but it’s like a fever, trying to push out the  _ wrong _ . But they settle, on the ground panting.

She can feel them now, her  _ three _ newest reapers. 

Lup, Sildar Hallwinter, and Barry J. Bluejeans.

#

Lup coughs and hacks her way into consciousness again. She’s kneeling in the circle of blackened grass left behind from the ritual and her head is spinning but she feels lighter. The “edge” of being a lich, the feeling of unlimited power is gone and it feels  _ good _ . She takes a deep breath and it’s the easiest breath she’s taken in decades.

She looks up and there’s one body in front of her, just regaining consciousness. She watches with bated breath as he looks to her. And then he smiles, wide and wonky and showing too many teeth, and she feels her heart race.

“ _ Sildar _ ?” she says, quietly, as if she didn’t know.

He nods a few times in a row and he looks down at his hands and then back to her.

“And Barry’s in there too?” she continues. She has to confirm that this worked the way they wanted it to. 

The smile shifts, shrinks a little, but his eyes light up like the sun and Lup didn’t know how much she missed this, missed  _ them _ .

She lunges at them, wrapping her arms around their neck. Sildar pushes forward and wraps his arms around her, gripping the fabric of her robes and pulling her as close as they physically can be. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Sildar says, his head pressed into her hair.

#

It’s been weeks now and Sildar buzzes with energy in a way he never has before. But Barry recognizes it. There is  _ magic _ in Sildar now too. Whether its from his time as a lich or from his new connection to a goddess, it finds its way into his fighting, into the force of his blows and the strength of his body. 

Sildar, he figures, is a paladin.

They have to change how they fight. But they’ve already had to change so much, this feels like nothing.

#

It’s the middle of summer, hot as the day is long, and Merle invites them all down to Bottleneck Cove. It’s hard not to think of that year on the beach. Of how Taako spent months teaching Sildar how to swim. Sildar was a city boy, never had a reason to learn.

For the few days before their trip, Barry is  _ giddy _ , and Sildar figures he’ll find out sooner of later.

The sand is warm beneath their feet and the waves crash on the shore. Taako leads the way down the beach, but Barry pushes forward as they reach the water and with a surprisingly graceful movement, dives into the ocean.

He ducks under a wave before pushing back up, laughing as he breaks the surface of the water. 

“Wait, hold on a minute, oh my god,” Sildar says in their head, as something dawns on him that he had never even considered. “You,  _ you could swim this whole goddamn time?” _

Barry laughs even harder.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Also b/c the before notes were getting long, a huge shoutout to the many people who helped with this: Eden (ToTillAGarden), Boom (Boomjob) Kipp (ShinyKipp), Daisy (dasyuridae), Jared (ohjustdisarmalready), and Kit and Sofia (75hearts).  
> You all saved my life and my butt.


End file.
